1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting? Why or why not? Does the introduction specify clearly what is to be classified and/or divided into groups?
It is interesting, because I can relate to the topic. It is also clear as to what will be classified.
2. Is there a clear thesis statement? Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s point or purpose for the classification and/or division? Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement. If the thesis is implied, state it in your own words below.
"High school though, is the time when you begin associating with a particular “click” and defining who you are", is the thesis statement.
3. Is the writer’s basis of classification clear (see “Notes on Classification and Division” posted August 12th)? Why or why not? By what means is the writer grouping his or her subject matter?
His basis is clear. He is classifying people into cliques.
4. Are the groups or categories clearly defined and uniquely named? Do any seem to overlap or appear oversimplified or based on stereotypes? Explain.
The groups do not overlap. The gangsta group may be oversimplified. Extra detail for this group will help this essay.
5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently? Why/why not? Note any paragraph that seems out of order. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically? Are there transitions between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected? Explain.
The paragraphs are in a nice order, and the transitions help for a smooth and easy read.
6. Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed? What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting specific examples to help illustrate the writer’s classification and/or division?
The paragraph on the gangsta group could use a little bit more detail.
7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent? Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).
Each paragraph is coherent to the essay.
8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph. Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the introduction? Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or seem to switch focus? Why or why not? How can the conclusion be improved?
The introduction is good, but the conclusion needs to be rewritten to reflect the introduction.
9. Now look at sentences. Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images? Does the writer have any words they repeat too often, use incorrectly, or misspells? Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, or switches in verb tense, etc.)
The one thing that stands out to me is the word "click". The proper spelling of the word that you are thinking of is "clique".
10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper. Then, describe the two features of the paper that most need improvement. What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?
I can relate to this topic, because I have experienced the same classifications in high school. However, if you rewrite the conclusion to reflect the introduction, the essay would benefit. Also, replace the word "click" with "clique" for reason of understandability.
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